im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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