i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
