omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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