as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Randomize
