i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Randomize
