"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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