Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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