My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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