He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
