I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I want to fling myself into the sun
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
