Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I want to be your penis for a week.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Randomize
