They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
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