I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
