Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Randomize
