I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Randomize
