he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Is it because I queefed?
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
