you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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