Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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