Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
