TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
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I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
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Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him