How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
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He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
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When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday