I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
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If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
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They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving