after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Randomize
