super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
