take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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