my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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