Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
