Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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