apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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