it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
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