he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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