i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
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