My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize