my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
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