I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Boobs are out for the taking
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
They are going to name an STD after you.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize