I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
