What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
