Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Randomize
