everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
