oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
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