Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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