So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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