I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize