before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
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Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
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DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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