On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
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