you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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