I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
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I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
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Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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