yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
