I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
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