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• (704): View more from North Carolina

  Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.

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• (876): View more from Jamaica

  After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone

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• (318): View more from Louisiana

  No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.

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• (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  Really* awful people.

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• (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich

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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!

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• (617): View more from Massachusetts

  I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.

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• (347): View more from New York

  i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.

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• (256): View more from Alabama

  I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me

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• (253): View more from Washington

  Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high

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• (631): View more from New York

  Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...

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• (224): View more from Illinois

  We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.

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• (513): View more from Ohio

  he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...

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• (314): View more from Missouri

  Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.

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• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  His dick is curly. It's adorable.

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