make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I am midnight drunk by noon
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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