He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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