and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
