i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize