Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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