so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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