I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize