I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
