Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
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