I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Randomize
