it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
