yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
