when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
My dick has a subreddit
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
