The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Randomize
